First of all I just want to thank everyone for all of the birthday wishes and second I want to thank Dawn Guillory Brown for coming into my life and answering a forgotten prayer. Anyone that knows me know that I can be a pretty private person especially on social media outside of promoting thegreatlisteners, but this morning I woke up compelled to share something. Whenever my birthday is approaching the only thing I really want every year is to be able reflect on the previous 12 months. Over the last few days I realized something that has me in total awe of God. About 8 or 9 years ago I was at a major cross road in my life I had achieved all of my dreams, was active in a going church that I loved, but something was still missing I was almost happy.
I will be honest at first I thought that I was going crazy I didn't understand how I could want something for so long, work very hard to get it without compromising and then finally get it and still feel this emptiness on the inside. So i asked God for the reason behind it and His answer really hurt my feelings. He told me that I was living outside of my purpose. At the time I was in the intercessory prayer ministry, the mens choir, and going out to feed and ministry to the homeless on the weekends. So after I was able to get out of my feelings I make a covenant with Him. In short i asked "If you will reveal my purpose to me and show me exactly who you intended for me to be from the beginning I will go after it and never change.
Well it started by Him waking me up consistently at 3a.m. just to listen to Him, then it went to researching different religions and historical events that confirmed what He was showing me, then it started to spill into my dreams on a regular basis, then He commanded me to start writing everything down, the He told me that I would write 7 books. Then He started giving me the onsite for the books one by one. While all this was happening I was getting anxious about finding a wife and by all appearances I believed that I had found the perfect woman. God fearing, beautiful, successful business women, believed in waiting until after marriage. I couldn't ask for more, but over time it became clear that I would have to chose between her and my purpose. I chose my purpose this meant calling off a wedding and walking away from what I felt like had been desiring since I was young. From there I with into over drive pursuing my purpose mostly to numb the pain and it began to take me to places that I never thought I would go. At this point I had self published five books and finished book number 6. I was told by God not to self publish so the I started looking for a publisher. Over the next few years I was told no hundreds of time by publishers and literary agencies and finally a publisher out of Chicago agreed to publish take on book number 6 everything was going great until they asked me to send over my head shot for the website. I sent it over and they stopped returning my phone calls and dropped me. On top of that every business venture that I was invested in begin to fail. bridesmaid dresses
I chose my purpose and I found myself alone, with no publisher or agent, and running out of money. I asked God what was going on and His only reply was Do you trust me? Then I got a message from an old classmate on Facebook and from there a phone conversation which lasted at least 4 hours. A couple months later I flew into Houston for the birth of my nephew and went back to Houston a day earlier just to catch up. I showed up dressed like I had just finished cutting the grass because I didn't want to get my hopes up, but the moment I saw her in front of the bowling alley I knew that she was my wife. From that moment all that I was experiencing begin to make perfect since.
Fast forward to the last 12 months. We got married in march and the entire day just felt like a dream. Most of my business ventures that failed were outside of the country because my goal is to generate more outside then in the U.S. Out of no where in June I got a contract in the mail from a publisher out of the London and a month later i got another publishing deal for book number 7. We found out in August while spending a weekend in New York that we are expecting our first child(It's a boy!!!!)
Forgive me for being long winded, but God showed me who I was. Somebody that Loves everybody even if they hate me. Somebody that believes in the power of prayer and listening. Somebody that refuses to judge what i don't fully understand or be divisive. Somebody that values time and insist on spending it wisely.Somebody that is fearless because I know that I'm protected as long as I'm on my path. Somebody that is not perfect but not afraid to fail or look crazy while in pursuit of greatness. God give me a great family, great friends, and even allowed me to marry into a great family and as for my soulmate I think that all this time He has been molding me for her and her for me.
I say all this to say that whatever God is showing you go after it. It may look like you are taking a major risk, but you may be risking a lifetime of regret if you chose not to ignore Him. Whoever He says you are believe Him we try not to lie but He can't. No matter how big or impossible your vision may appear to be if you abandon it you are teaching the next generation that giving up on what you were created to do is okay. Your purpose will always be bigger than you and how you feel and the moment. You never know how many people are attached to your destiny. If you keep taking step by step I promise you that along the way you will receive the desires of your heart.
Thanks again, I love you Ms. Dawn Michelle Guillory Brown and I hope this is able to help someone...